Long brown hair, soft brown eyes and L’Oréal skin. A smile that made your eyes disappear. I had always pictured what life would be like if we were together. You in the kitchen, cooking looking out the window as I played with our boy and girl, our two mixed kids. Also a pet labrador. The ultimate “that almost kinda seems racist but not really” white family. But it all came to a crash when I figured that none that would ever happen due to the fact that we’re states away, and you probably like guys two or three shades lighter than me. So a thought comes into my head, I needed to find a way for you to see me different, get you to notice me. Long story short the plan fails and I’m devastated. Your not, you don’t know, you never knew. And you probably will never know. But through out all the cold water I ended up finding a warm spot. It’s carried me all the way up to this point. Through the 9th grade when I was sad and still home sick. Through the 10th grade when I found that fly rapper and was crushing on the girl with the red hair. The 11the grade when…ok, I’m gonna stop. At this point it’s rambling. Go back to the beginning with the the creepy L’Oréal comparison. That was the start.


i used to sit and try to find the reason to life and why we’re here, why i’m here. i finally reached the point of sadness from all my unanswered questions where i realized there is no point to life. we’re only living to die, living in a state of nothingness. so why be happy instead of sad if there is no end goal? if the world is fubar why go against it? it clicked, because the feeling of happiness feels better than the feeling of sadness. there’s never been just one choice

sprawled across and elementary wall

sprawled across and elementary wall